it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize