i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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