You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
