There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I CAN MOONWALK!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
