dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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