I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
should my penis look like a turkey
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
