I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just tell him i said nine months
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
