i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it's like iHOP with fire
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize