mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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