All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
