NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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