She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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