What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
