it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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