i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
