she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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