i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
