I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
