You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
