real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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