She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
