No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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