I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
