he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
