if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
