I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
