She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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