Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
