I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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