He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
