The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize