Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just threw up on my dentist
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
