Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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