I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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