And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize