This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize