Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hippo gnu deer
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
