fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize