I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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