Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
