Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
