thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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