I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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