I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize