I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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