Duck Duck Cougar?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
