i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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