Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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