I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
