I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
