its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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