i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
