I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
