Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
do herpes really smell.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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