my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
