who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
