My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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