There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
