i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
