im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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