So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
