I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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