brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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