she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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