are you still at the devil's house?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
