his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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