WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This girl is more easily done than said...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
