they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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