It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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