if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
